Bits From Life, Life is such, Uncategorized

Let Me Write My Heart Out, Please – A Note To Self

 

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Sometimes, to passively glide through a day seems the most daunting of the tasks. Unembellished moments lie scattered on the path; uninspiring thoughts float around like an aimless bottle on the surface of a murky water body. Believe it or not, life is never an easy ride. Neither is it filled with thorns from start to end. One day, you smile like the happiest being on earth; the next day, your nerves are stifled with the darkest fear. One day, you are at peace with yourself; the next day, you are overwhelmed by the agonising tentacles of apprehension. To not surrender to the vagaries of life might sound the hardest thing to do. But somewhere down the road, one comes to peace with the truth that powering through each day keeping one’s hopes high makes all the difference. To be satisfied with the irrevocable facets of life, yet daring to address the weak ties becomes a necessity. Finally, but most importantly, to live the present to the fullest, whether it sounds clichéd or not ends up being acknowledged as the best advice around.

You might wonder why I would dust clean the decks on this blog saved for personal posts and visit the same with a philosophical post. Well, certain phases arrive in life, when you feel you have hit rock-bottom. You feel uninspired and the days seem unbearable and long. You are left with few options, and one of them would be to take things in its stride, to breathe in and let the moment pass. It is good to do that, but one should also be astute enough to know when to stop being passive and to start taking control over your life once again.

I have been through a passive few months in my life a while back and the hiatus inevitably spread to this blog as well. I was left with no option but to take things slowly, and not to fret over the dreariness of the situation. There were a few reasons for the impasse, mostly personal ones, but definitely impinged with those prickly stubs of professional downsides. I was having troubles with writing my heart out too; every time I sat down to write I had niggling thoughts about how the post would be received by the readers and whether it would sound biased or whether the reader would pick up meanings hitherto not meant to be passed on through my writing.

It took me some time to come to terms with the fact that one ought to write for oneself first and foremost. The judgement stemmed from the realisation that I indeed write almost every time for my happiness and to appease the passion in my heart. That the reader could strike a chord with my writing and at least some of them like what I write is a joyous bonus. And that is exactly why I narrowed down to a particular genre when I decided to write and polish a manuscript of my own, my first solo work of fiction, not surrendering to the irrational hype over certain genres and not being wary whether my book, when one day it comes out, would not be accepted by the mass simply for the fact that the genre is seldom touched upon in the Indian literary scenario. So also, when I finally made up my mind to restart blogging, I was determined to not let unimportant matters overpower me and let me down. No one ordered me to start blogging. I started blogging at my own will. Similarly no one asked me to start writing. Writing found me one fine day, filling the void that had been missing from me since my birth. I feel complete when I write, just like mothers confess that they feel complete after the arrival of their baby, even though they were unaware of the vacuum that had been residing inside them before. When the truth remains so prominent, why should I worry? 

 I have read many blog posts where the writers confess how they shook free their hearts from dilemmas and hiccoughs of this sort. The one thing that definitely carries them forward, or any writer for that matter, is the sheer amount of love they have towards writing and the revelation that if one doesn’t write from one’s heart, the act of writing itself would be vapid, static and short-lived. The conclusions that took birth as a result of much brainstorming have paved way to this post and I am happy that I finally wrote this. 

I sincerely hope I don’t flounder further along the trail writing has so gracefully guided me through all these years. Let me wrap this up with a toast that summarises the whole essence of this post in one line. Here is to many more posts right from the heart!

Before you leave let me ask, have you ever had roadblocks along your writing journey? Do share. 

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15 thoughts on “Let Me Write My Heart Out, Please – A Note To Self”

  1. That’s the best way of writing, for the self and will ultimately find an audience. I do face a writing battle most of the time which is a sign of growing up. I often write to self and do that in the personal diary:)

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    1. How wonderful that you write a diary. I adandoned the habit once I started the blog. Also, as I think about it now, I do agree that self-doubt is indeed a sign of growing up. In my earlier years of writing, I used to simply jot down anything and everything that sprang up in my mind and never bothered to poilish my writing. Well, I feel better now 🙂

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      1. In fact, the diary has quite a story and got it in 2010. It’s not even half full but made 10 entries this year. I started writing quite late but jotting anything that comes to mind is great. You can never know when it can lead to something extraordinary:)

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Hey, I do that sometimes on my cell phone 🙂 But still, the feeling of going through the writings on a diary filled with papers that are worn out gracefully with heavily laden ink is incomparable. And you are right, most of such random jottings pave way for an idea for a structured post for me as well 🙂

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  2. My battles are those moments of self-doubt. When I ponder who is reading. When I feel even if I even write good enough to be read. And in those moments the blogging community has come to rescue.
    I can feel from this post that things have hard for you but writing for self heals and you can certainly look at this blog from that angle. Hugs and know that we are all around for you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for the kind words, Parul. Yes,the blogging community has always been supportive for me. I have never had any bad experience what-so-ever from the same and I find solace in my blog in the end, however long I have kept away from it.
      I will make sure that I keep checking on the spam section so that I wouldn’t miss a comment from you 🙂

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    1. Thank you for sharing your experience, Alana. Yes, I ended up doing that too. I kept away from blogging for a while and when I felt that I couldn’t control the urge to write more, I made a come back. My spirits are definitely high now a days 🙂

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  3. It is very important to write for oneself first, please are free to judge you any way they like – you can’t control it.

    And, we all have issues in our lives. Happy you reflected upon and came back 👍

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  4. I am having a lot of trouble writing these days .. dont know what to write.. usually i write what i like.. it becomes difficult to please everyone moreover a blog is a personal place and it should portray what or who you are not what others want you to be 🙂

    All the best alwaysssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss and yes heres to many many manyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy posts here 🙂 keep writing ..

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  5. I go through my moments of self-doubt. I am somehow always confident of my posts about my interactions with Dhruv that they will go well (since it is more about the little one than me) as compared to the times where I write about myself and my journey in life. In the past, I have talked of my period of pain, hurt and humiliation and it was the toughest bringing out my vulnerability into public domain. I have been picked upon by the very people who were partially responsible for that period accusing me of bringing them into poor light when I talked about my healing. I say here partially because I wasn’t the victim completely. They were victims too because I gave them back everytime with the same blow and intensity. I gave up several times and I picked myself up several times. All that is over now.
    I know I have to keep writing and having committed to Monday Musings every week, i go where my thoughts take me to with the faith there will atleast be one person in the blogosphere who will identify with me. Maliny, keep writing and I can see it has been quite a while since this post as well.

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