Bits From Life, Uncategorized

What if? #Bits From Life

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I never thought I would write on my blog today. I never write on Mondays, mostly because I would already have filled this space on a Sunday, with the Author Talk featuring on my blog on weekends. I am breaking the rule here, for I feel a pressing need to speak my heart out today.

I stay in a hostel, which is a good ten minutes away from the hospital where I am currently pursuing my higher studies. This hospital is at least ten hours away from my home and hence visiting my parents at home has been reduced to a once monthly affair. It so happens that most of the times, when the week arrives when I would be undertaking the journey to my house, something or the other goes wrong, or my days would be stuffed with  chores, leaving me overwhelmed.

This week, I am going home for a purpose and it has to do with the Government job from where I took leave for two years for my course. I have to apply for a particular post, which requires me to be personally available with the properly filled form. The form needs to be signed by the superintendent of the previous institution from where I too leave, which further needs to be countersigned by a higher authority. I am taking leave for one day, as the number of leaves we are entitled to for a year is twenty. The hospital where I need to approach for the procedure is two hours from my house.

When I called up the superior officer asking whether he would be free on Saturday, for I was hoping to complete the procedures then, he told me that he would be free, but emergencies could come up any minute in the form of meetings or so. I was flustered. I am not in a position to take a chance. I need to complete the procedures in a day and I need to return to my hospital for my residency on Sunday itself. It would be highly tedious and depressing a task to return without bringing my goal to fruition. That would force me to take a second trip for the same purpose in another week’s time. Also, the deadline for the procedure is fast approaching and if I am not able to finish it before that, that would mean a terrible loss for me with regard to my professional life.

I talked to my parents and a friend of mine about the matter and they tried to pacify me. I started having a bout of migraine, which further brought down my already distraught self. At the pinnacle of misery, when I thought I wouldn’t be able to take it anymore, the unexpected happened. The vacuum that has been sucking me in for so long was suddenly filled by the warmth of peace. A barrage of questions overpowered me.

What if the suptd is not there when you reach? What if you have to return leaving the job half done? What is the most that could happen? Is the matter really in your hands? Could you control what is about to happen?

Finding an answer to the queries is not easy. But I did come up with an absolute solution to all these questions in that moment of epiphany.

No, the matter is not in my hands. I cannot control what is about to happen in this particular situation. So, what could I do?

Well, I could hunt the suptd down at the place where he is partaking the meeting and make him sign the form! It is definitely not impossible, is it? He is an amiable human being and he would understand the sitation and would take it in the right spirit.

What if that doesn’t happen? Could I do anything about it?

No. I will have to come back another day to finish the procedures.

What if I had to?

It was a necessity and I was pushed into the quagmire against my will. It was a snap of fate and I had to move along with it, given that it was impossible to resolve the problem otherwise. Yes, I will make a second trip if need arises; I made up my mind. There, basked in the rays of serenity, I could come up with answers to the confusing riddle I was in.

The incident made me recollect the many moments in my life when I would be bogged down by the silliest of matters. If the problem at hand needs a surgical intervention, then it needs to be undertaken at any cost. One cannot be cosy and revelling in one’s comfort zone at all times. There would come a time when one is forced to face the harsh circumstances of life.

Sometimes, fretting over not being able to come up with a safe solution is not the right way to tackle life, but owning the courage to drag oneself through the gritty experience is.

~~~~~

24 thoughts on “What if? #Bits From Life”

  1. Wise words my dear, very wise words… And this train of thought itself is enough to bring down the stress of humanity. We Ponder over future so much, fear the unknown and stress over uncertainties. Jo hoga dekha jayega is what my dad taught me all his life… And he is a very happy man. I hope your job is done though And you don’t have to hunt him down 🙂

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  2. As I was reading through the first part of this post, my mind began working as what can I tell you to dissipate your fears. I appreciate you for guiding your fears with a calm and peaceful mind. The way you have handled the situation makes me say I am proud to know you 🙂 There is something more you can do. Visualise, affirm and re-affirm that your work will get completed smoothly.

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  3. I can understand your frustration but you must not work your self up into a pitch thinking of what could go wrong. You waste so much energy that way. Whatever happens you have to accept so you may as well just go ahead and do it

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  4. I can understand what you are going through dearie. It is easy to say – don’t stress, it will all work out, but very difficult to put it into practice.

    But these things happen, and they pass, they eventually do, and like you realized for yourself – there is only so much we can do, and yes, we have to give it our all, but we cannot control everything.

    Hope it all works out for you. Do gives us an update when it does. 🙂

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  5. What if you get it all done in one go? I’m glad that you figured on your own that there will be certain problems that we have no control over. Despite that, we need to try to come up with our own solutions. I used to get all worked up when things go unplanned, still do, at times. Then somewhere along the way I learned that as long as I try to solve the problem, it’s alright even if it fails. I hope your situation works out well, Maliny.

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  6. I needed to read this today. I am a worrier. And in your place i would have thought and thought and thought and worried myself sick. But you’re right – we should let go of things and situations that are not in our hands. Now I just hope I can follow it. I do hope you can get your work done. Good luck.

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  7. I’m glad you shared your thoughts and anxieties here with us…I think sharing your worries takes away part of the stress anyday, but a major part of our stresses also come from re-playing what could go wrong even before it could actually happen. I have been there, a number of times and have now learnt the hard way that being positive about Plan A is fine but one also needs to be prepared that things might work contrary in which case one should keep a Plan B. If you are persistent, you will see it through, despite the odds. I hope your migraine didn’t last too long. Sending you plenty of positive energy as you face this uncertainty. Things will definitely work out well, am sure.

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  8. Your words made my day, Esha. Yes, the migraine is under control now, thanks to modern medicine and ancient yoga. I usually keep a Plan-B, but sometimes, the situation becomes so dire that I am flustered instantly. I need to change that aspect of me.

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  9. Things are not supposed to go our way all the time, but with experience, we learn to handle it when situations go south 🙂

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  10. Yes. One has to take everything in one’s stride – good, bad, ugly all probabilities and move on undaunted. That is the spirit. Kudos that you found the answer to this riddle in no time.

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