I never thought I would write on my blog today. I never write on Mondays, mostly because I would already have filled this space on a Sunday, with the Author Talk featuring on my blog on weekends. I am breaking the rule here, for I feel a pressing need to speak my heart out today.
I stay in a hostel, which is a good ten minutes away from the hospital where I am currently pursuing my higher studies. This hospital is at least ten hours away from my home and hence visiting my parents at home has been reduced to a once monthly affair. It so happens that most of the times, when the week arrives when I would be undertaking the journey to my house, something or the other goes wrong, or my days would be stuffed with chores, leaving me overwhelmed.
This week, I am going home for a purpose and it has to do with the Government job from where I took leave for two years for my course. I have to apply for a particular post, which requires me to be personally available with the properly filled form. The form needs to be signed by the superintendent of the previous institution from where I too leave, which further needs to be countersigned by a higher authority. I am taking leave for one day, as the number of leaves we are entitled to for a year is twenty. The hospital where I need to approach for the procedure is two hours from my house.
When I called up the superior officer asking whether he would be free on Saturday, for I was hoping to complete the procedures then, he told me that he would be free, but emergencies could come up any minute in the form of meetings or so. I was flustered. I am not in a position to take a chance. I need to complete the procedures in a day and I need to return to my hospital for my residency on Sunday itself. It would be highly tedious and depressing a task to return without bringing my goal to fruition. That would force me to take a second trip for the same purpose in another week’s time. Also, the deadline for the procedure is fast approaching and if I am not able to finish it before that, that would mean a terrible loss for me with regard to my professional life.
I talked to my parents and a friend of mine about the matter and they tried to pacify me. I started having a bout of migraine, which further brought down my already distraught self. At the pinnacle of misery, when I thought I wouldn’t be able to take it anymore, the unexpected happened. The vacuum that has been sucking me in for so long was suddenly filled by the warmth of peace. A barrage of questions overpowered me.
What if the suptd is not there when you reach? What if you have to return leaving the job half done? What is the most that could happen? Is the matter really in your hands? Could you control what is about to happen?
Finding an answer to the queries is not easy. But I did come up with an absolute solution to all these questions in that moment of epiphany.
No, the matter is not in my hands. I cannot control what is about to happen in this particular situation. So, what could I do?
Well, I could hunt the suptd down at the place where he is partaking the meeting and make him sign the form! It is definitely not impossible, is it? He is an amiable human being and he would understand the sitation and would take it in the right spirit.
What if that doesn’t happen? Could I do anything about it?
No. I will have to come back another day to finish the procedures.
What if I had to?
It was a necessity and I was pushed into the quagmire against my will. It was a snap of fate and I had to move along with it, given that it was impossible to resolve the problem otherwise. Yes, I will make a second trip if need arises; I made up my mind. There, basked in the rays of serenity, I could come up with answers to the confusing riddle I was in.
The incident made me recollect the many moments in my life when I would be bogged down by the silliest of matters. If the problem at hand needs a surgical intervention, then it needs to be undertaken at any cost. One cannot be cosy and revelling in one’s comfort zone at all times. There would come a time when one is forced to face the harsh circumstances of life.
Sometimes, fretting over not being able to come up with a safe solution is not the right way to tackle life, but owning the courage to drag oneself through the gritty experience is.