Be happy. Be smiling. Nothing can go wrong if you stay so. There is nothing for which you can’t find a solution. Whatever happens, you will definitely rise to the occasion then. So why worry unnecessarily now? Go out and have a fabulous day today.
Human beings are bound to be uninspired once in a while. I have been going through such a phase for a few weeks now. I have been seeking modes too to scrub free the irksome moss from my mind, but have failed miserably. Today, whether I liked it or not, even if I wanted it or not, I decided to start reading a book on kindle and was absorbed in it to the length that I wasn’t willing to pull myself up from the bed to turn on the lights when it grew dark. Well, that is a good sign, I believe.
The first account was taken from my diary and was jotted down one morning before I went to the hospital. And the second account was written by me on my Facebook page on the 8th of March.
What does it mean to say that a doctor has had a fabulous day? It could be anything – like treating the patients well, operating a case to perfection would be the ones to fly off from the top of my head, if you had asked me this questions a few days back. When these still remain the best modes to achieve a fulfilling day for me, these days, for the same reason I have made it my word of the year, I concentrate on engaging in beautiful moments with my colleagues and friends too.
Yet, somewhere, someday a few weeks back, I felt the dark claws of melancholy encroaching me, and that too for no particular reason. I consider despair and hollowness the utmost depressing pair. It hurts when one is devoid of the answer to one’s own heartache. You are left stranded in the dark, alone, lifeless and vapid, when the world moves around you, racy, unstoppable, passionate and most importantly with a purpose.
I wrote down a few quarter year resolutions for this year in my previous post, which I thought would offer me a purpose. I believe that was the best decision I have made in this year. It did give me a purpose and I exercise whenever I find time and drink gallons of water during the working hours! I have started reading books back to back and right now, I am reading ‘His Bloody project: Documents relating to the case of Roderick Macrae’ by Graeme Macrae Burnet, which is a partly fictitious/ partly documented memoir of a killer which he writes from prison, but imaginatively penned by the novelist. I have only reached a mere 100 pages, but I would already recommend this book to any lover of words.
Writing this blog post too has a purpose. To ease me out of the vacuum I feel myself trapped in. I am not entirely out of the quagmire, but I feel I could pull myself out of it anytime in the coming days with the effort I am putting into the situation. Perhaps, it has to do with the fact that I am sober and alone for a considerable part of the week. Perhaps, I am someone who yearns for a good company most times of the day. Perhaps, I am someone who loves her few moments of solitude, but find it quintessential that I have few hands to clasp on to during the other times. Talking to my dear and near ones over phone does help to some extent, but that is not all. I desire dear ones to return back to at the end of the day, which being in hostel I am not entitled to.
I have always considered myself an introvert and was proud of the same as long as I could remember. Would a human’s personality change during the course of his/her life? This whole post could merely be my alter ego talking even. Still one fact is bound to remain true. Whether I am with my favourite ones or not, being with other people, sharing talks with them, listening to their stories and telling mine sure lift my spirit and it is definitely something I am going to look forward to for the rest of my life.
Before you leave, help me out here, will you? Have you felt drained for a few days or weeks at a stretch? What do you do then?