Am I stuck with writer’s block? One may wonder, considering the dwindling number of blog posts I have been churning up during the past couple of months. But the truth is that, my mind has been shuttling between matters concerning something very important in my life- A milestone in itself. In fact, it has been over stuffed with words, themes, fitting conclusions, gripping plots and eye grabbing titles; or at least, with the undeterred thoughts to conjure the same. Briefly speaking, I have been working on a manuscript for the past one month.
Dreams form an inevitable part of a human’s life. They inspire us, prompt us and ignite us with the much needed impetus to move forward surviving all odds to finally make the desire a reality. We don’t always end up with what we dream, but at other times we do. We aren’t offered opportunities in a platter most of the times, but at other times, we stumble upon opportunities while carousing our way through the life pathway. Life is such – weird, instinctive and purposeful – all rolled into one.
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The crimson sky had started spreading its wings . I cringed my eyes to check my watch . It was half past six . A rather cheesy music started blaring loudly from behind me . I glanced back , almost startled at the pitch of the sound ,only to be welcomed by a pan stained row of teeth jeering at me . Avoiding him, i adjusted my dupatta playing deftly in the wind and hovered over the group of people waiting impatiently for the bus .
‘ The Bus ‘ failed to prove worthless of the long wait . With barely 30 seats and double the need , i strived hard to strangle the cuss which was emanating from the crevices of my mind . Struggling as i might to balance myself , i fumbled inside my hand bag for the wallet ,when i heard the ticket collector exploring his way skilfully through the crowd . Paying for the ticket , i placed myself at a safe corner of the bus , not a tad bit interested in suffocating myself to death . I never noticed the man sailing his way towards his target until i felt a hand snuggling close to me . Revolt did i , as best as i could, throwing a deadly stare at him , and clutching my handbag close to me . I let out a sigh when he disappeared in a scurry behind the thick veil of bodies clinging onto each other .
Reaching my destination , my college , i strolled back unaware of the many cold eyes prying on me . Near the Indian Coffee House inside our campus , i stumbled upon Vinay , my batchmate .
” Hey ! . What is a female species doing outside the hostel at this time of the hour ?! Its past nine ! .” He asked , a dubious expression dancing on his face .
” You do realise right that a Paediatrics professor is staring at you coldly from inside the coffee house . Decent women never wander around once the daylight recedes ” .He advised in between suppressed chuckles .
” Spare the nonsense Vinay . Nothing can matter to me today , though i do carry a pepper spray in my bag ! You know, i managed to grab a pass today to attend that Conference on Book Writing organised by ABC publications ! Such an evocative session it was ! ” I beamed .
” Okay , now tell me you havent gone out of your mind , Neetha . I hope you are well aware of the Medicine PG sessional exam which is due next week . With such an important exam honking loud around the corner what were you thinking you while you went wasting your time on some silly book session ?! ”
” Its not that i am not preparing for the exam. I am ,trust me . But does that mean i should sacrifice something close to my heart just because everybody else here is burying their head inside the textbooks day in and day out . Is it some kind of an unwritten rule that medical students should sit mugging up for ‘ twenty five ‘ hours a day ! ”
” You do as you wish . I cant bother fighting with you at this eleventh hour of exams . See you later . Ciao ” .
‘Eleventh hour ?! There is still a week to go for the exam ‘. I buried that thought inside me as he raced away on his Pulsar scared of losing yet another minute of his precious study schedule .
Reaching my room i saw Kavya , one of my room mates , swelling up in resentment .
” Where were you all this time ! . Anita’s marriage has been fixed and she took us on a huge treat today at Arcadia . Can you believe her luck . The guy is extremely rich and highly educated too . Oh, and to make things better , he is damn handsome as well . Can you imagine such a combination ! ” . She seemed out of the world .
” You should be sharing this news with your husband . Dont forget to include the last sentence ” . I teased Kavya while i settled down on my side of the bed , pressing my face deep into the hollow of the fluffy pillow .
” Yeah as if he would be bothered . Leave me , what about you ? . You have any idea how old you will be next March . 27 yrs ! ‘ Chee , you are a granny ! ‘ That is what we all are going to say on your birthday if you dont accept one of the proposals your poor mother begs you to accept , atleast by next year . ” Kavya threatened in a playful tone .
” Kavya , dont you dare start on the subject again ok . If i am not bothered why would you guys be ! ” . Also i am not simply sitting jobless and warming myself in the sun around here. I have big plans for myself . Will you be able to digest it if i say I managed to communicate with a publishing company today during the conference session . Finally the doors to my dreams are slowly opening their arms . Not that i am not planning to marry ever , but let us leave the marriage deal to God for the time being ok . ” . I pretended to close my eyes as if in a trance . Seriously , i never got along well with Kavya .
” You dont belong here Neetha . Go , chase your destiny and all those crap you talk about usually . I, tonight , have a very important date with ‘ Harrison , The textbook of Medicine ‘ . Make it a point that you dont bug me more with your theories “.
Kavya retreated back to her study table . I too snatched a flourescent marker from my table and settled on my chair to devour the textbook .
The next morning , while i was straining as i might to make out the kind of murmer humming through the stethescope , with an extremely confused patient sitting across me , Anita , my other room mate , nudged me softly from behind .
” Come here , i need to ask you something ” . She whispered in my ears .
I glanced at the disheartened face of the patient and passed the stethescope to Naveen , my junior unit mate . ” Try if you are able to make out the Ejection click . I hear just the Murmer ” .
Anita almost dragged me to the classroom and having closed the door behing she pounced on me , literally,with a question , ” Are You involved with Vinay ?! ”
” Oh my God , where did that come from now ! . Why would i be doing that ?! ” I retorted almost shouting at the top of my voice .
” I knew they would be lying . You know that Abhay right . The one who keeps a grudge against you for not being part of his college union . He saw you yesterday night outside the coffee house with Vinay . He and his friends have come to the conclusion that you are having an affair with him . What else would a girl be doing with a guy at that time of the hour ! See how imaginations fly !”
” Well, so that is the reason behind Abhay smiling at me with a ‘ i – have – won – over – you ‘ scoff when i met him at the Procedure Room today . Anita ,You trust me for who i am right . Thats more than i could ask for . Yesterday , on my way back here i could sense the stone cold eyes of the people trying hard to make me feel bad for being out there on the streets alone . And then Vinay came . He was showering me with preaches in his usual self worthy tone saying i was stupid to be chasing my passion while i could utilise that time to score better in my exams . And then Kavya tried to irk me with her mention of the ‘ Get – married – if you are 26 ‘ motto . And now that spineless Abhay with his sleazy conclusion ! To all these prancing minds i say , ” Not to judge me through their eyes such that they could cleanse my soul free of its specks . I can very well manage myself and definitely no , i am not treading a lost path as they must be hoping . Maybe i am not practical , but then ,heeding to my heart has always been inevitable for my peaceful existence “.
” Oh well i know you , my dear CHE ! ” Anita punched me on my shoulder and passed a big grin .
Right then , Naveen barged open the door and shouted frantically at me .
” Neetha , the HOD himself has come to take the class ! Cant he just sit in his room and sign the ledgers . I was scared to the core that he might ask more about the case we were examining . Do have any idea what an Ejection click actually is ?! ”
I looked at his sullen face , ” Ofcourse i know . Remember i am your senior ! Dont worry . I will explain on our way to the ward ” .
Naveen gave me a smile of relief . ” No wonder i like you so much ! ” . He stated .
A momentary murmer of joy fleeted through my heart . I did have friends who loved me for what i was , absolutely .
This post finds its inception in a random comment by a friend . He put forth a statement which goes by ” The movies were so much more enticing and deep a decade back ; so was music “. I agreed , not for the sake of avoiding a debate , but because I truly felt so . But the same passing comment by that person sent my mind whirring last day while I was travelling by train to my home town . Is it really so ? Can we simply go around bracketting the newer generation talents to be unworthy just because it doesnt please us ? The other side of the coin deserves to be analysed isnt ?
On further pondering I came to the conclusion that I find palatable music and movies in the recent years as well , a few of them exceptionally good and pleasing . So why do we tend to generalise the talent from the past to be golden hits while eye the fresh talents cynically most of the times ?
Last day while I was in the hospital OPD ,packed these days with fever cases ( blame the weather ), the cell phone of a bystander started beeping , rather screaming . The ringtone happened to be a song from the movie ‘ Aashique ‘ . Had it been any other occasion I wouldnt have had second thoughts on throwing a cold glance at that person . But interestingly , not this time around . For a second I wished the song would just keep playing !
So what is this all about ? Nostalgia ? To an extent it can be reasoned so right ? Something from the past , be it a movie , a song or an incident recalled instantly sends a refreshing shower down our hearts . Can that be the psychological basis for the tendency to generalise talents from the past to be better than the present , just because they make us feel good ?
Listening to some of the latest songs i am left with little option but to wonder whether they are even based on the ragas and rules using which they are supposed to have been created . ( pardon me , i am not trained in classical music . But an opinion about the same from a veteran would be most welcome ) . most of them sound catchy . But then, is it just me or does everybody feel that the tunes rarely manage to linger longer in our minds ? Maybe we should give the fresh talents the privilege of time to establish and prove their space . Accepting them for the time being seems the most plausible .
On the other hand , I have seen an equal number of youngsters who almost start throwing up when a golden song or movie is mentioned . They stare mockingly at you with an implicit message depicted in the same ‘ Dude , move on ! ‘. Accepted that taste for art varies from person to person , but then blatant respite for those which we find less insatiable is sheer hippocrisy .
Everyone is entitled to one’s opinion . There is no hard and fast rule when it comes to judging the quality of art . There is so much talent now as there was before , only if its more , with the growing technologies serving their share . Talent wherever you spot it deserves to be acknowledged . Accept what pleases you , reject the others.