Bits From Life, Books, Life is such, Mid Week Quests, New life, Passion, Uncategorized

At Crossroads – Mid Week Quests

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A part of my collection at home

Life has it that, it needs to smother us with torrents of sorrows at one time, but to exhilarate us with thickets of joy at the others. Just last week, I was lamenting about the humdrum that persisted in my professional life owing to serious setbacks at the administration front and merely at the start of this week, I am bombarded with alluring choices as to how to take forward my professional life. It so happens that I am not yet done with my higher studies- Another two year would be a boon when it comes to my professional skills, I being in a surgical speciality. Nevertheless, I received the appointment order for a permanent Government job this week, out of an interview that was conducted a couple of years back. There are a few worries about taking up the same, but there are things to rejoice as well.

My parents are overjoyed with the unexpected turn of events much more than me. They think I should grab the job sans any delay, but still make sure that my concentration suffers no aberration from the higher studies dream wheel I am manoeuvring. For doctors, a government job after serving residency means steady working hours and options to relax in between, during the night off days and week off days, although we do have to serve 24hour duties every week or so. The environment is blissfully different, although only relatively, from the residency period, when the resident is supposed to available in the hospital, either in person or as on call duty 24 hours a day, 7 days a week for 365 days a year.

Residency days witnessed the slow demise of my creativity. I have no regrets, for it died or rather went into hibernation for a noble cause. I see it as more of a sacrifice, which deserves praise, let alone disturbing and remorseful stares. The books that I had so wishfully bought to be read, soon was drowned in an ocean of the academic text books. I abandoned my efforts to seek a muse for there were direr matters at hand imploring my attention and service. I even believed, assertively, to an extent that I would never ever write again in my life and that my passion would remain buried in a deserted, enclosed pit forever. However much I tried to focus on the pages of a novel, I could hardly make myself drag my eyes for more than a few pages at a time. Although, all the while, a feeble voice had been muttering in the back of my mind that the phase should pass soon. Yet, somehow man tends to ignore the forecasts of the soul sometimes and find an inexplicable, mysterious joy in the heinous task of rubbing the salts of apprehension on the still oozing wound. Not much of a ghastly wound when it comes to the scenario I just described, but, an aching abrasion for sure the unappetising emotion was. 

I assumed mine was an isolated case of reader’s block, until yesterday when one of my dearest friends confessed that she was encountering a similar situation, her life being chock a block with the formidable, implicit and explicit responsibilities of residency. She also added that a day without reading a book always felt incomplete for her. How true!

It so turns out that for me, spring hastily follows winter, however long the stone cold era might be. The period of parchment the bibliophilic section of my mind and heart is accustomed to, if the atmosphere transforms to a more favourable one, is without much delay followed by an entirely enriching experience. I know that this endearing halt on my journey has to be considered as an oasis, for the days of sheer bliss( concerning the reader in me, for the doctor in me feels blessed every minute of the day with or without books) are not to last long.

From there ensue the cascade of acts that any bibliophile could relate to- Buying dozens of books online/offline and savouring them back to back, all the while snuggling onto the couch, munching on crispy chips punctuated with sips of tea or coffee. This has happened to me occasionally before too- During my Summer vacations back in school, after my Medical entrance, on year end breaks in college, after my post graduate entrance and now recently, after my post graduate university exam.

The bittersweet truth is even when I pine to get hold of a book; I fear it would be hard to fall back on my habit of reading after a long hiatus. Inertia sometimes take a toll on me, but once I overcome that marshy patch, things start to glide fast smoothly.

Coming back to my soon-to-be posted job, if I dissect it to shreds there are several pros and cons:

Pros:

  1. There is nothing new to be learnt to perform the job (Now that is one good thing about being a doctor. You are trained to act according to the circumstances, however mind numbing those might be)
  2. I would be ‘working’ after a monotonous gap of five months.
  3. I hope to read and write, now that I am officially a medical officer, and not a surviving medical student.
  4. Reasonable amount of leisure time

Cons:

  1. I would have to shift to the rural terrains of another district.
  2. I would miss the comforts of my home.
  3. I wouldn’t particularly be using the skills I acquired through my post graduation for the time being. But surely, after a while it would happen.

I look forward to penning down a post after I embark on the new job. A whole new list of pros and cons might welcome me there, who knows.

For the time being, I am relishing my much sought after time with books. I am relieved that I reclaimed my habit and to consolidate the same, I signed up for the Goodreads Reading Challenge too for a goal of 50 books in 2016. I long to read more than that, but one never knows how the days turn out to be in my profession. I have had a lot of book talks this week- with my friend whose words echoed my thoughts, with an upcoming author on his debut and right when I thought it was going to end, I received a courier carrying the books I had ordered online last week, stirring in me the flame to write this post for this week’s Mid Week Quests. I am leaving you all with a picture of my latest assets. Posing suavely alongside is the cutest, cuddliest, sleepy little gem who is my writing companion these days.

Ogle as much as you want, but do leave behind your own stories surrounding books. Do you go on a reading spree like me when you finally earn the time? Have you too weighed out the pros and cons enroute a new job? Do you suffer creativity-block yourself when accosted with duty calls ?

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There is not a thing I don’t love in this picture!

 

P.S: This post is tagged with Mid Week Quests, a sub section of this blog where I write on a Wednesday, about random nuggets from my life .

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Bits From Life, Life is such, Mid Week Quests, Uncategorized

Secret Remedy To Misery – Mid Week Quests

Secret remedy to misery- Midweek quests- Chasing Passions
Image Source: here

So, there has not been much going on in the professional front. Owing to certain chaos and shackles at the administration level, work is now progressing at a sluggish pace. Speaking of work, it amazes me at this moment when I ponder over the amount of time one spends at one’s work place. For most of us, life comprises proudly of two terrains- Family and work. And so also, it wouldn’t be ornamental or in any wee bit way overwhelming if I say that the atmosphere at work is almost as important for a sane and content life, as the placidity that prevails in the innards of a happy family.

There have been times in my past, when there existed utter pandemonium in the deepest pockets of my mind, for matters concerning the sheer sanctity of my existence. It is no point to be bewildered at, I am aware, for life, as we all know, is not a bed of roses ( Clichés turned clichés for a reason).  And at those times when one is prompted to sit up straight, foreseeing the ride to soon be rolling haphazardly through bumpy realms, there ought to be a silver lining that shines through the thickest of fog to help us through. Life would invariably turn a hopeless black hole otherwise, wouldn’t it? It scares me to even think of a situation when life would go completely distraught sans a safety line to hold onto. 

‘Tighten the seat belt, will you?!’ The wary mind calls out frantically almost instantly as a reflex in those circumstances. What if there was no seat belt to hold you in position? Would you turn insane or chirp away happily to the one seated next to you, accepting the truth that your end has come?

I am not talking about silver linings or being hopeful in general. More precisely, I want to write down here gaily about the impact my job had in my life. Yes, the seat belt I was referring to would be my enriching time at work that indirectly and unknowingly sprinkled me with glitters of peace during the most harrowing of times. 

It is as if, I step out a different version of me every morning when I go out for work. It has been like that ever since I could remember; whether it was school, college or presently, work. The issues that would trouble me the entire night are flipped out the window, the moment the friendly gales of companionship and productivity brush against me, the next day, at work. This is not the first time that I have found myself ruminating on the phenomenon. Admittedly, it does feel like an ordeal to wake up in the morning when your mind feels smothered by the harsh, dirty cloth of reality. But once the hardest part of sliding that bed spread away from me is done, the whole process turns relatively less hard.  No, it is not like we party away at work or sit for hours filling each other on the turning points in our lives. On the contrary, work is as grave as it can get ( I am a doctor).

Hectic schedule, less time to brood. Could that be the reason? Perhaps.

Amiable colleagues. Sense of togetherness when tackling similar circumstances? Likely too.

 I speculate that the sense of depression has more to do with the fact that we turn aggressively pessimist for whatever reason that pushed us down the abyss in the first place. I have read somewhere that if hit with an adversity, instead of hurrying through the phase, it is better to sink in the sorrow, to let despair take a trip through the channels of your body, till that day, when you feel confident that it can’t affect you more. There is a point there too. The aforesaid is what one is tempted to make oneself go through, undoubtedly, in times of misery. To sleep for hours or days at a stretch, to not talk to anyone, to cry silently in to the pillow, to reminisce on the better days of our life, the list is unfortunately endless. But then that has to end one day too, shouldn’t it? The sooner the better. 

 I am not a person who usually pours my heart out to someone about my worries. I would rather have it buried in me than be spilled in the open. Yes, writing helps a lot too. But for reasons stated above, I wouldn’t be writing about my problems as such. I need something to silently pull me out of the abysmal pit. It used to be music a few years back. But then, somehow, the charm that music enjoyed in my analysis ebbed away slowly. Reading offers company for a good many hours. But would I pick up a book, when my eyes well up every few seconds? I think not. I prefer reading books when I am at peace with myself.

Being with my dear ones would definitely be the first thing I do when struck by a problem. But I have realised over time that they can only lend their hands to help me out of the rubble. The rest is up to me. It is I who ought to drag my way out with their help. I feel good when comforted by my parents or my friends. But finally, it is I who should nudge me to walk out and do something about it. And my secret remedy for the same comes in the guise of my job. No, I don’t let it devour me wholly, like they say in books. Nor do I discard the presence of my family for the intoxication of work. Family matters the most and it shall be so forever. I am stressing here about the time after the initial distressing period, when one realises that life is not over yet. One is left, more often than not, staring in to the horizon, muttering the question, “What next?” and that is when having something to do with your life to keep it engaged helps. 

Specifically, I assume it is the feeling of being alive that nourishes the soul in me during those days. If I didn’t have such a rewarding job it could have been anything else. Anything rejuvenating. Anything that would let the wind blow against my face. Anything other than being bogged down for hours. Excercise, out door games, long drives, doing something productive, going on a small trip with your dear ones – All these have come to my rescue at one time or the other. They offer temporary solace, acting to set me kicking. But after that, it is mostly by being indulged in my work that I find a healthy, almost permanent respite.

Writing, work, gardening, taking care of your baby, cooking, cleaning – Whatever it be for you, the key is to keep sustaining. To keep afloat. To not let your soul sink. To surround you with positivity. To observe the doors of recovery swarm around you, egging you to open it every time. 

Before I wind up this post, let me take a moment and ask you, “What would you do in in similar scenarios? Is there a secret remedy to misery for you too?”

 

P.S: This post is tagged with Mid Week Quests, a sub section of this blog where I write on a Wednesday, about random nuggets from my life .

Bits From Life, Mid Week Quests, Uncategorized

Could I Ask You A Favour? – MidWeek Quests

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Image Source: here

Today, Mid week quests is all about ‘favours’. No. Nobody is asking anyone any favour through this space. On the other hand, I shall put forward my thoughts about the term and the deeper meaning it holds. 

Do you find yourself hesitate when bombarded with the ordeal of asking a favour of someone? Have you at least once felt all too determined to chew way more than you can bite, simply because of the fact that you shy away from pleading the service of time and energy from another person?

Well, I have. I find the matter troubling, if not harrowing, to ask someone to help me tackle a burgeoning task, let alone offer me company in trouble. I would rather try my best and solve the problem myself, any which way, than deliberately shed the cloak of hesitancy. I now know the habit to be a double edged sword. For one, it has taught me to stand up for myself, but secondly, it has caused me innumerable days of frustration and distress. And that is why I doubt whether I lack the sense to play according to the situation.

I am someone who hallcinates to be in an utterly embarassing scenario, as far as my mind is concerned, whenever the thought of approaching another person with an intention of borrowing money confronts me. Amazing me, last day a friend of mine came forward like a jet plane and asked me whether I could lend him money and that too in the most casual of manners. Not giving it much thought, I obliged to lend him a decent amount, surprisingly, in the blink of my eye. 

Pondering over the incident, a while later, I came to the a reasonable conclusion that friends are indeed bound to go through bonds of such kind. Yes, if the person to whom you lend the money is presumably fraudulent, the debate has no meaning. The scenario that we discuss now is purely based on the fact that the other person is your good friend.

There are certain things which I like to do for myself. But who wouldn’t love to be pampered once in a while? The rumination acts to prompt me now to be more flexible when it comes to taking care of the chores around me. The conclusion doesn’t mean that you should always find the easy way out. The line that separates the concepts of sensibility and shrewdness is never a thin trail on sand. Never confuse the two terrains that lie on either side. It should also not be too frequent as to gradually interfere with your ability to handle a troubling situation all by yourself if need arises. ‘How to be dependent?’ is not the topic discussed here, if I may stress. 

If the task at hand could be wound up in a matter of few minutes or days with the help of another person, should someone not resort to the same?  It might even make the other person happy to know that you thought of him/ her during adversity, wouldn’t it? Moreover the act of indulging in a revolting muddle, hopeful of deciphering the subtle knots, to eventually come up with an ideal remedy together consolidates the strength of any relationship, isn’t it so?

There is no hard and fast rule that life is to be treated a path strewn with thorns. The fumes that effervesce when forced to remain straddled for long might garner the strength to explode uncontrollably one day. Why suffer in silence, when you have the voice to ask that kind friend sitting at mere arms length to uncork the bottle?  

 

P.S: This post is tagged with Mid Week Quests, a sub section of this blog where I write on a Wednesday, about random nuggets from my life .